This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

"Bad news is he ate my computer, good news is I found the "home row" keys."









This was a very busy week, so my New Yorker entry came in a little late. Better luck next week!


Here's the leftovers...

I'm a "liti-gator", get it?

Close the door quietly I just put him to sleep.

I need you to keep rubbing counter clockwise while I run to the bathroom.

I'm having lunch at my desk today...What? No, I didn't mean I was going to eat this alligator! Karen, you know I'm vegan. I meant I want the caprese salad from "T.J. Hoopers" brought to my desk, hold the mozzarella. Jesus, you know I love this alligator! I'm sorry, it's just that I work so hard all day, and I have one half hour to myself and I chose to spend it rubbing an elderly alligator's tummy, and this kind of stuff, just makes me feel like I have to explain myself to you and everyone. All I ask is one half hour a day to myself, out of an 8 sometimes 10 hour day! I'm sorry that I can't give more to this company! I'm sorry Karen it's not your fault, I'm just tired. I'm tired, and I can't believe Dan is doing this same bit again. Just because he didn't have time to come up with a funny captions he thinks he can do another rambling one. It's just lazy. He's been doing these captions for over a year, and I just hope that he's not going to do one rambling caption every week now and think that that is cleaver, because it's just not, it's cynical, and frankly unoriginal! There's already a guy who does joke New Yorker Caption Contest entries here. I hate this kind of thing. Again, so cynical, such a bullshit cop out. Why can't people just try to be actually funny, instead of being sarcastic? I'll tell you why, because it's easy to be sarcastic. I hate this kind of humor. Look Scanlon, either take the time to write some actual funny captions, or stop entering all together! It's been over a year and you haven't been nominated, so maybe it's time to call it quits. He's just phoning in a crock of shit for the last few months! He's just dialing in a crock. He's a Crock O Dial! Get it! YEAHHH!!!! He's back!






This weeks nominees...






“I hate the way corporate thinking has taken over surfing, man.”
Submitted by Rob Chafin
Amarillo, Texas

“Now you're embarrassing me, Dad.”
Submitted by Nigel Arscott
El Cerrito, Calif.

“Sharks are biting on gabardine today. Polyester should be O.K.”
Submitted by David McElwain
Boise, Idaho

I entered...

"How do I know you're not a cop?"